Take your time Brett, everyone else SHUT UP!

I am sick and tired of hearing all the moronic national media folk take potshots at Brett Favre. I keep hearing that he's holding the team hostage and should hurry up already. Are you kidding me? First, this is Brett Favre. One of the greatest players EVER! That's right I didn't say one of the greatest quarterbacks ever, one of the greatest players EVER! When he's gone, the entire league will be worse for it. It's Favre he should be able to take as much time as he wants to.

Secondly, and most importantly, how is he holding the team hostage? Correct me if I'm wrong but the Packers DID draft Aaron Rodgers in the first round of last year's draft, right? So if Favre decided he doesn't want to come back then the golden boy can step up and step right in. Have fun with that. If Favre comes back, then Rodgers cashes a paycheck while learning to hold on extra points and field goals. Make sure not to break a nail.

Thirdly, can you really blame Favre for waiting. The Packers had the 2nd most money under the cap when free agency began and what have they done to address their offensive (or defensive) needs for that matter? Marc Boerighter at wide receiver??? The Packers have sat back while the following players were either traded or signed in free agency: Kevin Mawae, Keyshawn Johnson, Edgerrin James, Terrell Owens, Will Shields, Steve Hutchinson, Eric Moulds. Any one of these guys would have bolstered the offense. I hope that Green Bay is serious about possibly signing Charles Woodson, because the list of defensive free agents that have passed them by is even longer! So why would Brett want to come back if A) he has no offensive line (losing 3 interior starters in a little over a year), and B) they have NEVER gotten him a bigtime playmaking receiver to throw to? But he's holding the team hostage?!?!? Please.

Finally I think most of the national media looks at numbers at face value. All I ever hear is Brett had a horrible year last year, he threw 29 ints, blah blah blah. Well, again the team was awful, they had the worst head coach in the league, and Brett had to feel like once again he had to do everything. These ignorant player personnel moves by Ted Thompson and company have to stop. We cannot rebuild the team in the draft by trading down in the first round and acquiring draft picks! We tried that before. We need a rookie first rounder that is going to start and contribute in his ROOKIE year! That's been very rare the past few seasons.

I'm sick of the national media talking about something they don't know anything about. They continue to echo each other's idiotic reasoning. Wasn't it Nazi Joseph Goebbels that said "if you keep telling the people a lie enough times, pretty soon they believe it." I guess that's all the national media can come up with. They need to all shut their mouths and talk about something else. Ok, son of Billy Packer (the self proclaimed "Pacman"), Jay Crawford, Jim Rome, John Clayton, Scott Van Pelt, Mike "I'm so famous" Greenberg, and clod-like Mike Golic.

Brett we want you back as Packers fans, true Packers fans, but it's your decision.
Take your time, old friend.

Et Cetera

Let me go into brief detail about some of the things that have been going through my mind as of late regarding the sports world. First off, Shut the F up, Mr. Billy Packer and Mr. Jim Nantz. Every year we hear a bunch of cry babies screaming about who should have made the NCAA tournament and who shouldn't have. George Mason was one of the schools these guys were complaining about, now look at them, the FINAL FOUR! Also, shut up to the morons at ESPN who said the same basic things. Dicky V is more than just annoying. Count how many times he says the following phrase the next time you hear him talk: "The bottom line is...". This guy needs to go bye-bye, just like that fat windbag John Madden.

Also, to my beloved Green Bay Packers, what the heck are you thinking and/or doing? Ben Taylor and Billy Cundiff were just signed, well I guess we did a grrrrrreat job in free agency this off season. I haven't the slightest idea why Ted Thompson and company feel the need to alienate Brett Favre in not signing a big time wide receiver (Eric Moulds???) and addressing the offensive line needs. I still hear about how they need to replace Ryan Longwell. There are much more pressing needs in their secondary and on the offensive line. The Packers have sat on their hands while other teams have been active. Ted Thompson has noone else to blame but himself.

On the NASCAR tip, it's interesting to note that ESPN has begun to "pimp" the sport much more than they ever have. Why would that be? The answer is simple, they bought the rights to televise next year's season, so they're trying to drum up business going into next year.

The baseball season. First, how can it be called the World Baseball CLASSIC?!?!? It's the first year it's ever been done and it's being called a classic? Far from it, in any sense of the term. I noticed that not one member of the 2005 World Champion Chicago White Sox were named to the U.S. team. And the U. S. team played poorly, hmmmm that's a coincidence. Speaking of the White Sox, they seem to still get little respect from the national media. It's still always what the Red Sox and Yankees are doing, or what roid boy Bonds is up to. What a joke.

Speaking of loud mouth babies like T.O. and Bonds, why is ESPN complaining out of one end of their mouths about these guys and covering every word they say on the other end. You can't have it both ways ESPN. You've created these monsters (and cannot control them) by shoving a camera or microphone in their faces incessantly to create drama, then you chastise them for being what you want them to be. I personally think both of those guys are cancers, but ESPN is most to blame here because if they stop running stories about these guys, they disappear. And that's the bottom line Dicky V!

Oh wait in Dicky Fashion I'm going to continue blabbering. One weird parting thought, I wonder if every guy has this sort of thing going on. Its the "Randiness Gauge". For me the person I can gauge my randiness on is the Weather Channell's Jeanetta Jones. Granted the picture of her to the right is much nicer than what she normally looks like. On an exceptionally horny day I'd say, "Yeah I'd do her." I then know I need to take care of that need. On other days when I find her repulsive, I know I don't need that. Just wondering who your "Gauge" would be. And NOW, that's the bottom line!

2005-2006 NBA All-Ugly Team (First and Second Team)

Ok, the waiting is over...now what you've all been waiting for. The first and second teamers on the 2005-06 NBA All Ugly Team.

2nd TEAM:

Kyle Korver - Philadelphia 76ers. Mr. Korver has an amazing skill for which I'm jealous (I think???), he can smell his lower lip without trying. Although I'm not sure how well that helps in day to day activities. This moptop, seems to be caught in a constant squint. Whatever the case, he's on the 2nd team.


Anderson Varejao - Cleveland Cavaliers. Oh yes, he plays for Cleveland, one of the dirtiest cities in the United States. Imagine how many pollutants are lodged in his spiral perm??? Varejao is Portugese for Oooooooogly as roadkill. Or so I've heard.
Pretty boys are not needed, Foreigner! How you say...ugly.


Rasheed Wallace - Detroit Pistons. Rasheed plays in another glamorously foul American city(see Anderson Varejao). Facial hair cannot cover up this TarHeel's county corn dental work, nor the "tarheel" on the top of his head which looks like nothing more but a skidmark from a stroke recovering barber. Welcome to the team Rasheed. Please turn off the lights.

Bo Outlaw - Orlando Magic. Good ol Bo, yes he's getting up there in years but he deserves this spot more than any other vet, and you need that leadership on any team. Just look at that smile, it screams "Get that damn camera outta my face, Funny Guy!" Goggles complete his ensemble


Tayshaun Prince - Detroit Pistons. This guy was on the verge of making the first team, but just missed out. The picture doesn't do him any justice! I've never seen such a jaw. You'd think if he made millions that he'd get that jaw broken and re-set. Come on you wuss, do it already!
And eat a sandwich or pizza every once in awhile.

FIRST TEAM

Aaron Williams - New Orleans/OK. City Hornets. Is he white or black? In the world of ugly, skin color doesn't matter. This cat is one oooogly man. The genetic master was not kind to this guy. That's why he makes the first team!



Charlie Villanueva - Toronto Raptors. What can you say about Charlie. He's a rookie and gives next year's draft class hope to make the first team (Adam Morrison anyone?). This Connecticut Hairless may suffer the same affliction that former Green Bay Packers safety Mark Murphy had. He has no eyebrows and is hairless from the neck up, and we will stop right there!

Chris Kaman - Los Angeles Clippers. Isn't a Cayman some sort of crocodile like beast? That may explain the look of Chris Kaman-he may have been raised by them. Kaman looks like he just awoke from his cave complete with bloody knuckles (from dragging them on the ground). OR the other rumor could be true, that Kaman is really a female from Dusseldorf in some sort of weird transgender sociological experiment. Either way, Kaman is a first teamer!

Ha Seung-Jin- Houston Rockets - Yes, he doesnt' play much, but as long as this guy is still receiving paychecks he'll have a place on the All-Ugly Team. North and South Korea agree on one thing regarding this guy, he gives them horrible nightmares. Very surprising with those candy corn teeth and unibrow. He's also been known to dye his hair red. Wow, that's surprising, it's not like Korean women are ugly. Ha ha, yes they are!

Sam Cassell - Los Angeles Clippers. Your Ugly MVP! Everyone knows he'd be here. I recall reading an article about him a few months ago, that stated he wasn't married. Ladies, have at him. Lady lizards that is! This guy could very well emerge from the chest cavity of Seung-Jin or Kaman and it wouldn't surprise anyone. Sam I am, ugly as Spam, or something like that.

Oh wait, we still need a coachd....hmmmmm:

Jeff Van Gundy- Houston Rockets - He doesn't have many bad hair days, but what about the rest of his face. Yeeesh! He should really try to get brother Stan back in the league, it would save him this spot.



Talk amongst yourselves and give me some feedback on this!

2005-2006 NBA All-Ugly Team (honorable mention and 3rd team)

So the votes are in, and as always you have the list of the usual suspects along with a whole gang of new uglies. The bottom line is, you wouldn't want to wake up in the middle of the night with ANY of these guys standing at the foot of your bed. So without further ado, here they are. Mom and Dad, you should have been sterilized!!! Here's honorable mention and the 3rd teamers, stay tuned for 1st and 2nd teammers along with the ugly coach of the year. Discussion and feedback is welcome.

Honorable Mention - Greg Ostertag -Utah Jazz. Hey Greg, you were born in 1973 right? And you did go to college at Kansa, not the Naval Academy, correct? Let's update the hairdo ok?



Arydas Macijauskas - OKC/New Orleans Hornets.


This Lithuanian looks like a cross between the JAck in box from Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and a member of the Bay City Rollers.


Shaun Livingston - Los Angeles Clippers Wow, the Ludacris look isn't working for you baby. If this cat didn't have any underarm hair and that dirty sanchez I'd think he was from TLC. Oh yeah, Shaunie belongs to the LA Clippers, the ugliest overall team in the league!





Andrei Kirilenko - Utah Jazz If the Bride of Frankenstein mated with a POW this is what the offspring would look like. Would someone please feed this guy?


3rd Team:From left to right below, Luke Walton - Los Angeles Lakers. I can hear Daddy Bill Walton stoned out of his gourd now, "That's a terrrrrible pick. Awful, it was atroshhhhousssh!" Sorry Luke as hip as you think you may be, you're not, you still have Daddy's genes.

Hedo Turkoglu - Orlando Magic. Ok, we'll cut him a bit of slack, he is Turkish. Perhaps he could consult Pau Gasol on how to grow a beard.

Jason Kidd - New Jersey Nets. Not only is this guy incredibly ugly, but have you seen the size of his child's head! I feel sorry for his wife. And what thanks did Mrs. Kidd receive from hubby, oh that's right some domestic abuse. Bravo Jason!

Michael Finley - San Antonio Spurs. Well, ummm I'm sorry Michael but your complexion is bad and the ears aren't nearly big enough to distract us from that.

Pau Gasol - This guy is one of the weakest looking ballers in the league. Add to that his confused moronic sense of changing facial hair and this is one man who's trying to hide what he is...ugly!