Do Not Call It a Comeback. I have been here for years, errr months

I have no idea what this stupid takeo spikes comeback thing is, nor why I chose it for this blurb but use your imagination. Oh wait, have you lost your imagination by watching too much ESPN since we last spoke?

Let's get down to brASS tacks, boys. First off, how many times do I have to listen to some idiot like Scott VanPelt or Stuart Scott try to utter something oh so witty during a highlight. That's no longer cool, nor was it ever.

Next, let's stop creating controversy when there is NONE! ESPN creates drama for the sake of manufacturing news. Amazing how A.J. Pierzynski is the biggest villain in baseball when a man named Barry Bonds is still playing in San Francisco and Michael Barrett sucker punched the guy. I'm not sure exactly WHAT Pierzynski has done to earn his status. Obviously it's not fair and its unfounded. When I ask others the question, it was always that he wasn't liked by his teammates in San Francisco. Uhhhh, what? Who cares? It's San Francisco with who else on their team but Barroid Bonds.

Next, I don't care about Maurice Clarett, Lawrence Phillips, Rae Carruth, Terrell Owens, Freddie Mitchell, Randy Moss, or Tim Biakabutuka. Ok, so that wasn't very fair to Biakabutuka. Sorry, Timunga! But really stop covering what is going on with these guys and they will GO AWAY!

Next, I do not want to hear about any more "walk off" hits, homers, etc about baseball games. When did this come about? Again ESPN manufactured it. It's boring and trite, get rid of it. It's always been called a game winning hit. Stick with it.

Next, what in sam hell is the NFL thinking with these new referee uniforms? Do they want them to look like a cheaper version of the ones worn by Foot Locker employees OR is that where the referees train in the off season? By the unforgiveable errors committed by the crew officiating last year's Super Bowl I'm guessing it's the latter.


Next, would ESPN stop using the phrase, "Oh by the way..." How very inventive. If you put that phrase in front of any statistic it really isn't sarcastically funny, witty or informative. You really just come off as a really smug prick.

Finally, Floyd Landis, you need to shut the hell up. Noone cares about the Tour DeFrance except for a couple of bikers or something. You are a junkie, the entire sport is chocked full of them and I feel any fans left should boycott cycling until something is done. It's the dirtiest sport around. And I have to believe that Lance Armstrong was also dipping in the "funbag" as well. However, he beat cancer so don't you DARE say anything wrong about 'livestrong'! I mean come on, it's a great story the way he came back but isn't anyone a little bit skeptical about his performance. And also, why in the world would Greg Lemond say that Lance used? What does he have to gain for saying that about the great american hero?

How is that for a rant?