2005-2006 NBA All-Ugly Team (First and Second Team)
Ok, the waiting is over...now what you've all been waiting for. The first and second teamers on the 2005-06 NBA All Ugly Team.
2nd TEAM:
Kyle Korver - Philadelphia 76ers. Mr. Korver has an amazing skill for which I'm jealous (I think???), he can smell his lower lip without trying. Although I'm not sure how well that helps in day to day activities. This moptop, seems to be caught in a constant squint. Whatever the case, he's on the 2nd team.
Anderson Varejao - Cleveland Cavaliers. Oh yes, he plays for Cleveland, one of the dirtiest cities in the United States. Imagine how many pollutants are lodged in his spiral perm??? Varejao is Portugese for Oooooooogly as roadkill. Or so I've heard.Pretty boys are not needed, Foreigner! How you say...ugly.
Rasheed Wallace - Detroit Pistons. Rasheed plays in another glamorously foul American city(see Anderson Varejao). Facial hair cannot cover up this TarHeel's county corn dental work, nor the "tarheel" on the top of his head which looks like nothing more but a skidmark from a stroke recovering barber. Welcome to the team Rasheed. Please turn off the lights.
Bo Outlaw - Orlando Magic. Good ol Bo, yes he's getting up there in years but he deserves this spot more than any other vet, and you need that leadership on any team. Just look at that smile, it screams "Get that damn camera outta my face, Funny Guy!" Goggles complete his ensemble
Tayshaun Prince - Detroit Pistons. This guy was on the verge of making the first team, but just missed out. The picture doesn't do him any justice! I've never seen such a jaw. You'd think if he made millions that he'd get that jaw broken and re-set. Come on you wuss, do it already!And eat a sandwich or pizza every once in awhile.
FIRST TEAM
Aaron Williams - New Orleans/OK. City Hornets. Is he white or black? In the world of ugly, skin color doesn't matter. This cat is one oooogly man. The genetic master was not kind to this guy. That's why he makes the first team!
Charlie Villanueva - Toronto Raptors. What can you say about Charlie. He's a rookie and gives next year's draft class hope to make the first team (Adam Morrison anyone?). This Connecticut Hairless may suffer the same affliction that former Green Bay Packers safety Mark Murphy had. He has no eyebrows and is hairless from the neck up, and we will stop right there!
Chris Kaman - Los Angeles Clippers. Isn't a Cayman some sort of crocodile like beast? That may explain the look of Chris Kaman-he may have been raised by them. Kaman looks like he just awoke from his cave complete with bloody knuckles (from dragging them on the ground). OR the other rumor could be true, that Kaman is really a female from Dusseldorf in some sort of weird transgender sociological experiment. Either way, Kaman is a first teamer!
Ha Seung-Jin- Houston Rockets - Yes, he doesnt' play much, but as long as this guy is still receiving paychecks he'll have a place on the All-Ugly Team. North and South Korea agree on one thing regarding this guy, he gives them horrible nightmares. Very surprising with those candy corn teeth and unibrow. He's also been known to dye his hair red. Wow, that's surprising, it's not like Korean women are ugly. Ha ha, yes they are!
Sam Cassell - Los Angeles Clippers. Your Ugly MVP! Everyone knows he'd be here. I recall reading an article about him a few months ago, that stated he wasn't married. Ladies, have at him. Lady lizards that is! This guy could very well emerge from the chest cavity of Seung-Jin or Kaman and it wouldn't surprise anyone. Sam I am, ugly as Spam, or something like that.
Oh wait, we still need a coachd....hmmmmm:
Jeff Van Gundy- Houston Rockets - He doesn't have many bad hair days, but what about the rest of his face. Yeeesh! He should really try to get brother Stan back in the league, it would save him this spot.
Talk amongst yourselves and give me some feedback on this!
Aaron Williams - New Orleans/OK. City Hornets. Is he white or black? In the world of ugly, skin color doesn't matter. This cat is one oooogly man. The genetic master was not kind to this guy. That's why he makes the first team!
Charlie Villanueva - Toronto Raptors. What can you say about Charlie. He's a rookie and gives next year's draft class hope to make the first team (Adam Morrison anyone?). This Connecticut Hairless may suffer the same affliction that former Green Bay Packers safety Mark Murphy had. He has no eyebrows and is hairless from the neck up, and we will stop right there!
Chris Kaman - Los Angeles Clippers. Isn't a Cayman some sort of crocodile like beast? That may explain the look of Chris Kaman-he may have been raised by them. Kaman looks like he just awoke from his cave complete with bloody knuckles (from dragging them on the ground). OR the other rumor could be true, that Kaman is really a female from Dusseldorf in some sort of weird transgender sociological experiment. Either way, Kaman is a first teamer!
Ha Seung-Jin- Houston Rockets - Yes, he doesnt' play much, but as long as this guy is still receiving paychecks he'll have a place on the All-Ugly Team. North and South Korea agree on one thing regarding this guy, he gives them horrible nightmares. Very surprising with those candy corn teeth and unibrow. He's also been known to dye his hair red. Wow, that's surprising, it's not like Korean women are ugly. Ha ha, yes they are!
Sam Cassell - Los Angeles Clippers. Your Ugly MVP! Everyone knows he'd be here. I recall reading an article about him a few months ago, that stated he wasn't married. Ladies, have at him. Lady lizards that is! This guy could very well emerge from the chest cavity of Seung-Jin or Kaman and it wouldn't surprise anyone. Sam I am, ugly as Spam, or something like that.Oh wait, we still need a coachd....hmmmmm:
Jeff Van Gundy- Houston Rockets - He doesn't have many bad hair days, but what about the rest of his face. Yeeesh! He should really try to get brother Stan back in the league, it would save him this spot.Talk amongst yourselves and give me some feedback on this!
posted by Billy @ 10:29 PM
2 Comments:
Mmmph, mmmph, mmmph. Charlie V. looks like a reject from The Hills Have Eyes circa 1977. Burrrr. But my personal favorite is Kaman. Cap'n Kaaaaa-man. He looks like a dirty from the smoking pit at high school. You a tough guyeeee?
This is certainly well thought of, but don't you think the likes of Richard Jefferson, Channing Frye and Kevin Martin belong more to the list rather than those like Anderson Varejao and Rasheed Wallace. I mean, look at the reasons you had for both of them, as compared to the obvious reasons anyone would have for putting RJ or K. Mart...
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